As Valentine’s Day approaches, the pressure to be out and about is real (especially on the day itself!), and since I’m currently in the US, I thought that it’d be fun to get on the dating apps that are available here. Of course, the release of The Tinder Swindler couldn’t have been more timely. Having used the Tinder app before, I wasn’t surprised that a person like Simon Hayut exists IRL, but what shocked me was how little (not how much) time he ended up spending in prison for all his criminal activities and the fact that he’s on the loose now.

To kickstart my social experiment, I did a Google search and Dating.com came out tops, so I decided to give it a shot. After fiddling around with it for a bit, I’d rate the app 4/10 overall. Upon downloading the app, I was asked to key in my details (name, age and preferences) and voilà! On the bottom panel, I was given the option to view the members, incoming requests (if any), chats, inbox (for messages) and my profile. Once I was done setting up my profile, I was ready to meet new people.

Unfortunately, nothing is free in this world, and every time I wanted to message someone, the app would prompt me to subscribe to it, so after a few tries, I decided to do so. In total, I spent RM44, which wasn’t too bad and resulted in my inbox being swamped with messages after messages! Unlike the usual profiles that you see on Tinder, the ones on Dating.com look a lot more tempting as everyone seems legit and very professional. As refreshing as it was for my eyes, every time someone sent me a message, it came in the form of a ‘letter’ or a ‘chat’. There’s also the option of chatting with popular members, but to my surprise (or not), I could only do so if I put in some ‘coins’. TBH, the coins on this app surpassed the budget I’m willing to spend (20 coins for RM94.90, 50 coins for RM199.90 and 150 coins for RM399.90). Having said that, it didn’t turn out to be the only disappointment I had with the app.

Since I couldn’t chat with the popular members, I decided to read and respond to the messages that landed in my inbox. While there were a few who seemed decent, most of them sounded like they were in dire need of attention and their messages were way too cheesy for my liking! For instance, who in the right frame of mind would make the first move by sending a message to a stranger that says, “I’m sure that it must have hurt you when God cut your wings and sent you to Earth. Which roses do you wish to hold you in your hands, honey?”

That was a major turn-off for me as I had expected that the people who paid to be on this app would be a little more matured. There were many others who sent me similar cheesy messages too, and that’s when I decided to ask them about their definition of love instead. Listed below are some of the answers that I managed to get from them, and while some sounded fairly decent, most of them made my head spin! Thankfully, I was able to strike up a bit of conversation with them before the app prompted me to buy extra coins. Be it cheesy, lame or sexy in your eyes, here are 10 of the best replies that I got from the men on the app.

1. “Love is all about being close to your soulmate.” – Billy, 31

2. “Love is all about strong feelings. It’s the reason we live and a form of inspiration for me to continue living.” – Christopher, 21

3. “Love means a lot to me. It stands for honesty, wisdom and the ability to understand each other.” – Dani, 27

4. “Love means many things to me, but mainly the truth. If I had a chance to pinpoint the main obstacle for many people when it comes to love, it will be age. Age and physical influence do have an effect on love.” – Elizer, 40

5. “Love for me is a feeling that depends on the person’s POV. But to love is to do everything for that person without receiving anything in return. It also involves compassion, confidence, emotional stability, the union of two minds and loads of communication.” – Gael, 33

6. “Love to me means kissing. When you love someone, you are able to kiss them anytime and this action helps to protect you from sadness at all times.” – Jessie, 29

7. “Love in my eyes is all about that intimate time a couple shares with each other in bed. That’s when both of them get to see their partner’s true colours and learn more about the other person.” – Kuiwei, 36

8. “Love is all about consistency, loyalty, respect and fellowship that you find in someone.” – Paolo, 40

9. “Love is all about trust and care. It gives you strength to become a better person in life.” – Sky, 33

10. “Love for me is life, as it moves our life from one chapter to the next, but unfortunately, three years ago, something happened that made me not believe in love anymore. I found my ex in bed with my cousin after knowing her for nine years.” – Tommy, 38

After all the hoo-ha, I’m happy to bid adieu to the app, and instead of looking high and low for some fun on Valentine’s Day, I eventually found it right in front of me – in the form of Fergus, my Border Collie, who I’m happy to spend the day with. One thing’s for sure: he’s fun, highly energetic, loyal and smart, and most importantly, I know for a fact that he won’t be giving me additional stress from getting those cheesy lines that annoy me more than anything in the world!

Featured image: Thiébaud Faix/Unsplash

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