I Experimented With 6 Products For Buttne So You Don’t Have To

Just the other day, I sat down on my chair, felt a weird dull pain on my bottom and wondered if my body was betraying me once again. But I haven’t gone for spin class since I last fell off the bike (which was many moons ago), and neither do I recall falling down from my platform Christian Louboutin sandals. A cursory search in the shower unveiled a ring of red on my it’s-flat-because-you-stopped-going-for-spin-class bottom. Some scientists call it folliculitis or simply put, inflammation, while millennials like me call it buttne. 

Apparently, it’s easy to sip the Kool-Aid from your fellow millennial friends and assume it’s buttne. However, scientists have explained that it’s the inflammation of the hair follicles that often comes about with chronic rubbing. You chronically rub (urgh, right?) said area when you sit down for a prolonged period of time or even from just putting on a pair of high-waisted jeans. Your cheeks even do a little side-to-side dance when you walk.

Now, firstly, we’re going to teach you how to diagnose if it’s folliculitis. Is the lump itchy? Congrats (sort of), you have folliculitis. Is it smaller than a clogged pore or cyst? Yup, folliculitis. Does it resemble a rash? Yeah, ok you get it. It’s really easier than going on webmd.com to diagnose yourself.

Secondly, we’re going to give you some simple steps to follow before we recommend some products for buttne you can check out. Clearly, you have to wash your bottom regularly with a product containing an acid like Alpha Hydroxy or Beta Hydroxy. But don’t go into the shower with exfoliating mitts or a loofah either, as they've got the potential to cause a more severe degree of inflammation, which might lead to scarring – yikes!

Thirdly, you're going to be wondering if you’re able to wax off your peach fuzz. Sorry to be the bringer of bad news, but it’s most likely going to worsen your inflammation. We recommend sugaring instead or using a really good razor, and yes, these products below:

1. Dr. Dennis Gross Alpha Beta Exfoliating Body Treatment Towel

One swipe of this treatment contains the perfect dose of Alpha and Beta Hydroxy Acids as well as enzymes to smooth away dead skin cells and ingrown hairs. Squalane and aloe in it also help to soothe and moisturise skin, giving you a smoother bottom with just three uses!

2. First Aid Beauty Skin Lab AHA Resurfacing Liquid 10% AHA

Four alpha hydroxy acids in this liquid quickly work their magic to keep buttne at bay. The product’s liquid cushion-like texture even feels really good on your butt: swipe it, leave it on and simply enjoy the tingle! As strange as it sounds, it’s really quite a sensorial pleasure.

3. Herbivore Botanicals Prism 20% AHA + 5% BHA Exfoliating Glow Facial Mask

The numbers for this product for buttne are as follows: 20% fruit-based acids and 5% Beta Hydroxy Acids help to exfoliate, two kinds of soothers (aloe vera and rosewater) help to moisturise, and once is the recommended usage per week for you to keep your bottom uh, glowy.

4. Mario Badescu Alpha Grapefruit Cleansing Lotion

One swipe of this Alpha Hydroxy Acid-enriched product for buttne instantly sinks into the skin to start unclogging hair follicles. Highly recommended post-shower, you can even decant this into a bottle as a mist if you’re wary about using cotton pads.

5. Origins High-Potency Night-A-Mins™ Resurfacing Cream With Fruit-Derived AHAs

While it can be a little heavy if you don’t sleep in Antarctica-levels of air conditioning, this cream works almost overnight: a potent blend of Alpha Hydroxy Acids and five kinds of vitamins to slough off dry, dead skin while keeping dullness at bay. If you still think that it’s a little too heavy, use it as a mask instead.

6. Purposeful Skincare By Allies (PSA) Heroine Mandelic & Licorice Superfood Glow Toner

When used on the face, this lightweight toner is great. When used as a product for buttne? Even better. Two kinds of acids help to get your skin together while three kinds of antioxidant-rich ingredients brighten skin and replenish its moisture simultaneously. What’s more – it contains kombucha to strengthen your skin’s barrier!

Text: Stacie Cai
‍Featured image: Allec Gomes/Unsplash